i've disguised the pain all this years~

i dunt want tobe ended like this :( 
NO !!

when im not with you, me, my life, MISERABLE ! when im with another person that i dunt want to, i feel myself suck. the relationship goes so many wrong ways. hurts.

 do you ever hear me calling ? i want u back. every my nights, full with im talking to the moon , saying i want u back. in hope u'r saying the same too. i know u're somewhere out there, somewhere far away, but near to my heart, saying u want me too.

 seriously i miss the past *sigh

the past , thats when im with you. yes, its not only us. but yet, i still having you. and now...im all alone facing all the vagaries of life :(

all i want is YOU !


but i realize its all only a dream~

 i have to keep myself smiling, and hide all the wounds inside
:)
im happy and keep alive, knowing u LOVE me !
still do.........

ma, i miss you~

apa yang aku rasa, hanya aku dan yang diatas sahaja yang mengerti. orang laen mungkin boleh tahu, tapi mampukah mereka mengerti ? ape pon korang bukan di tempat aku. ape yang aku rasa...apa yang aku buat sekarang bukan untuk kesenangan diri aku semate2. tapi banyak yang aku fikirkan...komitment akan datang. kesenangan orang yang sayang aku lebih dari ape pon. cukuplah aku menyusahkan die jage aku spai aku yang sekarang nie. this moment, i really feel this is it. this is the time. time for me to wakeup from a long comfort dreamy sleep. wakeup to take care of her. i dunt know how to show the love i had...this is the way..im quitting to give her a comfortable life at that age...she's not strong anymore. i dunt bear to see her crying. its hurts me. more than broken hearted, failed in love. its more than that. i dunt describe my feeling to her, i dunt show. i dunt even know how. ma, if i dunt live a long, please belief i always loves you. i always pray for your happiness. im sick, no worries ma, im not dying yet. start from now on, all the medicine will always be with me. loves you ma :)

i'll be back soon and bring a smile on your face, ma.

regards, ur fucking crazy daughter :)

ak taktahu ape yg aku tulis tapi ini yg terlintas ketika ini..

kenape orang taknak jujur dengan diri sendiri?

sebab die senang je...............taknak lukakan perasaan orang laen, nak jage hati orang laen.

kadang-kadang kita tak sedar...kelakuan atau sikap kita makin mengecewakan sesetengah pihak.

hari ini, ak membuat satu keputusan untuk hidup aku. bukan satu tp dua. 

1. perlunya ak meninggalkan dia, ubah menjadi lebih baek
2. study? MSN ? kerja ?

semoga ape pon yang bakal ak tempuh, disertakan restu mak (:

 

dan kau lelaki......! aku akan buktikan , KAMI masih mampu berjaya walaupun kau tiada (:

kalau bukan kita yang kuatkan diri sendiri, siapa lagi ? orang laen hanya mampu simpati..kesian...tapi yang nk berjaya, yang nak kuat, diri sendiri.

dan untuk cinta hati.........andai aku milik mu-sejauh mana kita, sesukar mane hubungan ni, ak masih dan pasti milik mu. akucintakauhinggakhirhayatdanrasainimati

terimakasihbuatakujatuhcinta (: